It’s a Jungle In Here

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You rise from your slumber to find that the house has been ransacked.  The drawers are all hanging open, their contents strewn about the floor. Broken bits of your favorite possessions and shredded papers are everywhere.  Even half eaten pieces of food litter the ground and it’s hard to take a single stride through the chaos without stepping onto something.  Most worrisome though is the extreme quiet.  It’s never this quiet.  So you creep through your house, surveying the damage.  Some bizarre cartoon flickers on the television screen that is now smeared with some unknown substance and it grabs your attention.  It’s in that instance that you are attacked.

 

“AAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!” you hear the crazed war cry from somewhere behind you and you spin around just in time to see the short, naked person, barreling at you faster than you can react.  He has some sort of club in his hand.  His tiny body is smeared with paint and he grins ear to ear, baring his teeth as he charges you at top speed.  All you can do to protect yourself is step back at the moment he’s within striking distance, grab him as he goes by and swing him over your head.  He only laughs at your efforts, unphazed.  There is no reasoning with this sort of maniac, only cuddling, and he wants you to take him to the zoo.

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